From the CEO
October 2010: Changing Times, Challenging Assumptions
Last evening I went to see our youngest guys play basketball in a community league. We play most of our games in Whippany at a place called, appropriately enough, Hoop Heaven. As usual only one other staff member and I are there to cheer for the Bonnie Brae team. There are at least a dozen parents and supporters, very well dressed, cheering for the opposing team. Given the layout of the court, we are all sitting on one side with both teams facing us on the other side. A couple arrives late and sits beside me. They assume, based on shared dress and skin color, that I am a parent of one of the other guys on their son’s team. I am not. To break the ice the man makes a semi-comical, but mildly derogatory remark, about one of my young players. I fail to laugh. There is an awkward silence. Then he asks which one is your son? All of the guys in blue I answer. Now there is a longer, even more awkward silence. From a school? Yes. Which school? Bonnie Brae. What type of school is that? A boarding school. Oh, I see. End of conversation.
We are so often about the business of challenging assumptions. I am not the proud parent of a white player, but the equally proud parent substitute for our mostly black players. Our Brae Builders challenge assumptions as well. Two full days each week eight of our oldest guys work hard to construct affordable homes for low-income families. A casual visitor to the construction site in Bridgewater might easily mistake them for the eventual recipients of such housing. Challenging assumptions. Every year our Bonnie Brae Ambassadors serve lunch to hundreds of other volunteers at the Miles for Matheny fund raising event. They set up tables and chairs, empty trash cans, restock water bottles, and do whatever else needs to be done to make the event a success. Challenging assumptions. On Friday evenings our Ambassadors partner with Bridges Outreach to serve bag lunches, that they put together earlier in the day, to hundreds of hungry and homeless people on the streets of downtown Manhattan. They serve hot chicken noodle soup, distribute warm clothing and take extra care to be certain that the young children on the street get their fair share. Several of our Ambassadors have been homeless and hungry themselves. Now they are on the giving side. Challenging assumptions.
Providing residential treatment services is our primary purpose. Challenging assumptions is a critical means of achieving that purpose. If our residents are going to be successful in the long term, we must challenge their most deeply held assumptions that they are somehow doomed to failure. We must also challenge assumptions of families, schools, and sending communities. By playing with other local sports teams, by contributing to the common good of the surrounding community, we are knocking down long-held stereotypes about our guys. More importantly we are convincing our guys that they have real value in life, and that there is a moral obligation to help others in need. It is just not good enough at Bonnie Brae to worry only about yourself. Challenging assumptions takes time, understanding, and a supportive community. Thank you for helping us to challenge assumptions and to change lives.