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August 2009
It is about 9:00 a.m. on a typical summer morning. New Jersey’s famed summer heat and humidity are already beginning to appear. Boys and young men are converging on the central basketball court from all corners of the campus. As the residents find their group leaders and set off for the morning activities, one of our senior residential staff members stops Ramon, a relatively new admission to Bonnie Brae. Did you wash your face this morning? Ramon looks remorseful. No. Well, when your group takes a break you need to be sure to wash your face. Then the staff member notices that Ramon’s shirt is too small for him, very unusual on a campus where many of our smallest residents wear 6X t-shirts, and reminds him to change into a shirt that fits.
That thirty-second encounter, that brief connection, is the heart and soul of our work here at Bonnie Brae. With the recent close of another successful school year we have discharged many successful graduates and welcomed many new faces to our campus. They often arrive looking somewhat lost and out-of-sorts. We speak our own language. Often we converse in shorthand. It takes a while for the new residents to learn the norms, language, and customs of this community. So our task is to make connections. To seize a moment during the daily summer routine in which to introduce ourselves and seek to offer advice and guidance.
When your culture is strong and heading in a positive direction, you hope your more experienced residents will step up and assume more leadership during times of transition. Residents, who only a few weeks ago struggled themselves, now become cottage leaders, patiently explaining the rules to newer residents. The reality is that all staff must become more visible on campus during these periods of transition. Staff members need to take the lead in seeking out the newer residents and offering to help. Sometimes, as in the example at the beginning of this letter, just a few seemingly casual comments can begin a therapeutic dialog.
Just now, as I was preparing to finish this short letter for our web site, I was called over to our main office to say goodbye to one of our departing residents. This young man, I’m not supposed to admit this, has long been one of my favorite residents. As a member of our now famous drum corps, the Bonnie Brae Knights, the young man and I marched in very cold weather in the Inaugural Parade. He never complained. He was always in a good mood. He was always quick to volunteer for some of my more challenging missions. He will be deeply missed. That is the bittersweet nature of our work here at Bonnie Brae. Thank you for your support!
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