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August 2008
On a recent celebratory lunch out at a local restaurant, twelve year-old Jimmy is very excitedly telling me about this past weekend visit. For the first time ever, Jimmy convinced his mother to go bowling with him on Saturday afternoon. As I am trying to keep up with Jimmy’s story, I am simultaneously carrying on two other completely different conversations with Jimmy’s fellow award winners. Welcome to my world!
Celebrating victories with my guys is always a challenge. Whether due to nascent social skills, lack of quality time with the ‘big fella,” or just the excitement of eating out in a nice restaurant, I almost always find myself carrying on multiple conversations. The other Bonnie Brae cultural norm about these celebrations is that they inevitably involve some type of food. With 98 growing teenage boys in our care, food is always a vital part of the celebration.
When we take the boys out to celebrate with a meal in the community, I become the Henry Kissinger, remember Henry Kissinger, of menu selection. The boys have been well trained that there is always either a dollar limit, remember we have a large and growing family, or specific menu item limits (e.g. entrée plus shared appetizer, entrée plus shared dessert). While the dollar limit approach usually produces few disagreements, the menu item approach almost always results in Kissinger-like negotiations. For example, “Mr. Powers, can I have two appetizers and no entrée?” Or, more likely, “Mr. Powers can I have two desserts and no entrée?” The permutations/combinations are endless and there are meals in which I spend most of my dining time arbitrating these disputes. Often, you just have to laugh!
Much to my surprise, I have also learned on these trips that many of our guys have never been to a sit-down restaurant. McDonald’s? Yes, many times. Burger King? Of course. But a trip to a non-fast food restaurant presents its own challenges. The boys usually assume that the waiter or waitress is there just to meet their own needs. So when the waiter approaches our table, the boys all immediately begin to seek his or her attention. Can I have water? Do you have Sprite? Can I get extra cheese on my burger? Can I have a Coke with no ice (the boys have patiently explained to me that this results in having more Coke in your glass).
Having experienced many such “feeding frenzies”, I have learned to review basic restaurant expectations on route to our destination. Together with quick and frequent reminders on manners and table etiquette, these five minute “prep talks” have made for happier dining experiences for all. Your contribution to Bonnie Brae allows us to expose our young men to many new experiences such as dining out. In turn, we use these new experiences to teach and to role model proper behavior. Thank you for your continued support!
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